this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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