Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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