i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online