Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.