thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
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I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
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While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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