So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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