Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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