Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
