My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
