3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i don't like sucking hair
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
