So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
