bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
sex in a hospital.. check
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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