if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
i think i just lost a toe
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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