Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize