I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
