Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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