Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
