Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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