8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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