One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
