Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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