I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize