New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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