also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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