eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize