The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
