something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
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There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
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I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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