no, he came in my armpit
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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