Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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