She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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