The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
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I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize