One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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