my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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