went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My dick has a subreddit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize