My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
