If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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