Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
