just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
