Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
