i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I think I died a long time ago.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
