how can u be prego again
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
