I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize