In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she peed on how many people?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Randomize
