Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
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and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
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Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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