You're so nebulous sometimes
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
