Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
