So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
