I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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