I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
