I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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