I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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