we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
