were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
