You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
