grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
