best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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