Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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